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Last night I ran into the second worst make out of my life. (I’m a lady, so I won’t reveal any names here) Listen up, fellas (and ladies): no one likes to have a tongue jammed down their throat or have someone else’s tongue just sitting in your mouth like a lazy hobo. It’s gross and a little rude. Tongues are like house guests: you’re just a visitor on someone else’s turf and you shouldn’t overstay your welcome.

Here is a recipe appropriate for last night’s run-in from the good people at Epicurious:

TONGUE WITH MUSTARD-HORSERADISH SAUCE
Active time: 30 min Start to finish: 3 1/2 hr

For tongue
1 (3�-lb) fresh beef tongue
1 large onion, sliced
6 garlic cloves, smashed
1 bay leaf
1 whole star anise
1/2 teaspoon black peppercorns
2 tablespoons salt
For sauce
1/4 cup chopped shallot (1 large)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons whole-grain Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon bottled horseradish
1 tablespoon chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

Cook tongue: Rinse tongue well with cold water and place in a deep 6- to 8-quart pot. Add cold water to cover by 3 inches, then add remaining tongue ingredients. Cover pot and bring to a boil. Simmer, partially covered, until tongue is fork-tender, 2 1/2 to 3 hours.
Transfer tongue to a cutting board (reserve 1� cups cooking liquid) and, when cool enough to handle, peel off skin and trim any fat or gristle. Skim off fat from cooking liquid and pour liquid through a paper-towel lined sieve into a large bowl, discarding solids. Keep tongue warm, covered.
Make sauce: Cook shallot in butter in a 2-quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat, stirring frequently, until softened. Whisk in flour and cook, whisking, 1 minute. Gradually whisk in reserved cooking liquid and cream, then bring to a boil, whisking.
Simmer sauce, whisking, until slightly thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Whisk in mustard, horseradish, herbs, lemon juice, and salt and pepper to taste.
Slice tongue and serve with sauce.

Serves 6.
Gourmet
Sugar and Spice
May 2000