About a month ago, I got dumped at the Trappe Tavern. A note: Fellas, don’t bring someone to a place that serves a menu of mostly fried foods to dump them, especially when said place is where most of the podunk retards from your high school go to rub against one another. It’s just disrespectful. Let’s just call the guy XX, because he’s obviously a turd for letting go of someone so amazing. Anywho, since XX dumped me, I’ve embarked on a wonderful albeit painful path in terms of dealing with all the crappy things in my life that I have tried to ignore for over 10 years. Therapy, yoga (which is so amazingly wonderful I can’t even begin to express it) and of course chocolate!!!
Since I work at a chocolate factory, I am surrounded by chocolate all the time. I’ve always loved eating chocolate and the more I learn about it, the more I like it. There’s a rumor going around that chocolate makes you happy. Totally true. There’s a chemical naturally found in chocolate called phenylethylamine or PEA that is also found in the brain, which releases dopamine and peaks during orgasm. It also contains a cannabinoid compound called anandamine, but you can’t actually get high from eating chocolate (unfortunately). It has many other compounds that studies show are “feel-good” components. So, eating chocolate actually does lift your spirits. And don’t feel bad about the fat, it actually lowers bad cholesterol while raising good cholesterol. Of course, the darker the chocolate, the better for you it is. There are so many other health benefits, which I will divulge some other time. For now, eat chocolate, do yoga, and be merry!
I’m sad to say that I’m back from my vacation in the Outer Banks. We had amazing weather and the water was the perfect temperature. We did have a bunch of jellyfish in the water one day; ones that I have never seen before but that didn’t sting. I didn’t take a single photo while I was there, so I can’t show you, but they looked like bottle caps with blue fringe. I couldn’t help but wonder if you can eat these jellyjerks. I found out that, indeed you can eat them and it’s quite common in Asian cuisine, particularly in seaweed salad (which I’ve actually never enjoyed). Here’s a recipe from Starchefs.com (below) and although I didn’t find an online source where one can purchase jellyfish, the chow boards let me know that you should be able to pick them up at any Asian market.
Marinated Jellyfish with Chili Oil with Green Apple Tea
Chef Angelo Sosa, formerly of Yumcha - New York, NY
Adapted by StarChefs.com
Yield: 2 Servings
Ingredients:
Jellyfish:
4 ounces pre-sliced jellyfish strips
1 Tablespoon chili oil
1 teaspoon toasted sesame seeds
1 teaspoon salt
Green Apple Tea:
4 green apples, juiced
2 limes, juiced
1 teaspoon sugar
Garnish:
½ ounce red onion, sliced into slivers
6 romaine lettuce hearts, trimmed down
Method:
For Jellyfish:
In a small bowl, lightly dress jellyfish with chili oil. Season with toasted sesame seeds and salt.
For Green Apple Tea:
Stir ingredients together in a container until sugar is dissolved.
To Assemble and Serve:
Scatter jellyfish onto a serving plate and sprinkle red onions and romaine hearts on top. Pour the apple tea tableside.
Wine Suggestion:
A delicate white such as Chardonnay
Thanks, starchefs!
Tonight I’m leaving to go to the Outer Banks, NC for vacation. Whenever I go south of the Mason Dixon line, particularly to the beach, I think about crabs. No, not the ones you got from that sailor during Fleet Week, I’m talking Callinectes Sapidus (beautiful/savory swimmer) The Blue Crab.
Because I was a marine biology enthusiast and nerd back in high school, I went to Wallop’s Island not once but twice for a class trip. There, we investigated, studied and ate our friend the blue crab. I thought the most interesting place we went to visit was to the soft shell crabbery. There, the newly-molted crabs would meekly sit and wait for their shell to come back, which of course would never occur. Instead, they would be packed a certain way in ice to ensure that they would arrive at their ultimate resting place still alive, soft and delicious. Typically in nature a blue crab would be highly vulnerable during molting and would make a tasty and easy snack for predators. The lady crabs will molt and a strapping young crab dude would come along and protect her and carry her in this fragile state. This seems sweet and almost romantic, until the crab man spawns with her while she’s still getting her shell back then goes his own way. Just like a human man. Dang, I’m salty…just like the Atlantic that I’ll be frolicking in by this time tomorrow.
Note: It’s been a while since high school, so please forgive me if my recollection of the biological details is fuzzy.
I’ve always had a problem with “Belgian” chocolate. After reading this article about the Belgian Chocolate labeling code, I’m even more irritated. I mean Belgium is not an origin for cocoa beans!! When you say Hispaniola (Dominican Republic) or Ghana or Ivory Coast, these are all chocolates whose beans actually grew and were harvested and semi-processed in their country of origin. And to say “Belgian” suggests a country of origin when in fact:
“‘Belgian Chocolate’ is defined as a mixture of ingredients that are refined and moulded in Belgium. This means the grinding of the beans does not necessarily have to take place in Belgium,” as per the article and its code.
So basically, as long as the very final steps were performed in Belgium, it’s a Belgian Chocolate. They have quite the ego over there, thinking their chocolate is far superior to the rest of the world. There are plenty of countries making it just as delicious if not better, so save your lame little label, dorks.
I can tell that I’m out of it at work lately because I’m just not in tune with my chocolate! I have not been tempering very well at all lately and it’s bumming me out.
Tempering is the process of cooling down liquid chocolate while agitating it in order to encourage the growth of Beta crystals in the cocoa butter. Then heating it slightly to destroy bad crystals. The end result is a glossy chocolate that has snap and a smooth mouth feel. If you’ve ever left chocolate in your car and it melted, then cooled off and solidified, you would likely notice that is has a white look to it and feels weird when you chew it. That white appearance is known as “bloom” and in the case of too much heat, it’s a fat bloom. The cocoa butter got hot and out of temper and showed itself on the surface of your chocolate. Tempering is tricky and frustrating at times, but when it’s done well — it’s amazing. I am usually so good at it, but my head’s not in the game. Each chocolate has its own “personality” when it comes to temper and I’ve just been ignoring them. Need to get back in the game!!!
I went to NYC this weekend and went to the Astoria Beer Gardens, which totally ruled and I love the outdoor grill/drinking experience. They had brats and “klobasa” and beer, beer, beer. Of course I enjoyed it. It’s apparently the oldest outdoor garden in the city, so really you can consider it an historic site, not just a place to get sh*t-canned.
The other highlight, besides seeing all my fabulous friends, was brunch at Alias on Clinton & Rivington. I had a meat I’ve never had before: Goetta. Pronounced “gedda.”
This is made from the steel cut scraps of meat, then blended with oats. They made a thin patty out of it and fried it until it was crispy. Sort of like a cross between Hagus and Scrapple. It tasted like a meat granola bar — delicious, but I’m not sure how much of it I could it at a time. But with my cheddar-smothered grits and over-easy eggs with biscuits, it was absolutely perfect. Nice work, Alias.
My birthday came and went this year and it was a pretty good one. But I couldn’t help but think back on last year’s, which was way cooler if only because of this cake:
Jean ordered it for me and it was seriously delicious. The best part is that the whole decoration of it was real icing, no fondant!! That is what made it even more impressive (and tasty). Nice work.
This past weekend despite and because of a wounded heart, I drove down to Virginia to see my old college roommate and some other friends (from NYC). I needed a distraction and I’ll be honest, I was won over when I heard there would be mint juleps and Bourbon hotdogs.
If I hadn’t been drunk at the time of learning that, I would have driven down that very minute. Leslie’s momma had been soaking the bourbon in mint leaves for about a week, and we drank it in a cup of crushed ice. It was delicious and painful and potent all at the same time. There was allegedly some sugar in it, but I couldn’t get any of it. I have to admit that I couldn’t even finish my cup. For shame!! But I did move on to the Bourbon wieners that had been stewing all day. You couldn’t really taste overwhelming bourbon, but they were outrageously good and tender and I wish I had more of an appetite because I could have that flavor on my tongue all night. All in all, a very successful trip below the Mason Dixon line.
In the spirit of hotdog month, I’d like to let you know about the wieners of my youth; the wieners that still have my heart. I’m of course talking about Yocco’s “The Hot Dog King.” This is a regional Lehigh Valley chain, which may be why you’ve never heard of it before. My favorite part about it is that they serve Mrs. T’s pierogies, deep fried to sizzling-golden-brown-crunchy-on-the-outside-soft-and-fluffy-on-the-inside perfection.
Of course I adore their dogs as well; they serve them with “special sauce,” which is essentially a poor man’s chili, mustard and onions; pure heaven. That’s the standard, but of course they have other options for y’all fussy budgets. You can also pick up a “doggie bag” that has 12 buns, uncooked franks, some “special sauce,’ mustard and onions. Whenever we go up to Live-Free-Or-Die New Hampshire to visit my brother, we have to bring him a doggie bag (amongst other regional favorites). I’m drooling over the thought of Yocco’s good thing I’ll be up in Allentown on Sunday to get me some….
I am so tickled right now after reading an article about how soy has been linked to lower sperm counts. Eat more meat, guys!!!
